Acronyms 'R' Us

The Challenge of Communication in 2025

jeffrey banksdesign / instagram

Though history has revealed that the violin was an instrument created long after Emperor Nero “fiddled” while Rome burned, the metaphor lives. This drawing by Jeffrey Banks of our capitol building being symbolically consumed by fire as our current president is “twitter-x-ing” recalls Nero’s indifference and suggests a similar disregard of political overreach while the resulting chaos rages through Washington and the world.

Since the arrival of the unelected Elon Musk at the White House and the creation of D-O-G-E has raised even more concerns for the stability of our democracy, I opened my set at Poor David’s Pub in Dallas, Texas, recently with a tip of the hat to Bob Newhart, the brilliant comedian who made a speciality out of one-sided telephone conversations—revealing an amazing amount of information humorously—merely by reacting to what we, the audience, would assume was being said on the other end of the line.

“Good evening, Acronyms ‘R’ Us!

And who might I be having the pleasure of speaking to?

Oh, like the perfume?

Uh-huh…and may I call you Elon?

And how can we help you today?

You’re starting an agency? Uh-huh…

And your use of the word “agency” implies it’s, uh, governmental in nature?

I see…And…and you already selected a name…

Uh-huh…and what did you settle on?

(pause)

Oh that’s too bad…

Nothing personal—but we certainly would have liked to have helped you there…

Well, you see the name pretty much determines the acronym.

Uh-huh…Well, perhaps we can at least help you with the pronunciation issue…

Uh-huh…

You’re pretty sure people will call it DOJE?

And you’re good with that?

I see. (Chuckle) Wouldn’t you like something a little classier?

(long pause)

Well, I was thinking perhaps a more established “old world” reference.

Uh, something on the order of…DOE-JAIS?

Oh, of course…I understand…you have a concern about the MAGA reaction.

Yes, I understand. It’s not “MAKE EUROPE GREAT AGAIN,” is it?

(Laugh - stops self-consciously)

But say, here’s an idea. Since you already mentioned MAGA.

Well, how about combining both acronyms and call yourself D-O-G-M-A.

Yeah, DOGMA! Kind of a catchy ring to it, doncha think?

Uh-huh…well yes, there is THAT other meaning…

But…if I might give you some advice—if you’re thinking of merchandising with those letters, be sure you don’t do canvas bags.

Why? Well, the animal rights groups, they’ll start calling them DOGGIE bags….

And you know what goes in…

Uh-huh…

Maybe we should dig a little deeper into what your agency is hoping to accomplish…

Eliminate a lot of jobs…

Uh, cut Social Security.

Uh-huh. Cut health care. Oh, and education, foreign aid?

And then fire a lot of folks the president doesn’t like?

(long pause)

All those cuts and all those people, eh?

Y’know, honestly, I don’t think you're gonna have to concern yourself with pronunciation choices…

Well, I’d say your D-O-G-E is gonna get known pretty quickly as DODGY.

(Laughter)

Uh, hello? Hello?”

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Vibrations

Noel’s “front porch” rendering of ACRONYMS ‘R’ US in Ojai, California:

Connections

Watch the Bob Newhart “style” in this guest appearance on the Dean Martin television show many years ago:

Resonance

Both the Jeffrey Banks’ image and Noel’s one-sided telephone routine are examples of satire. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using satire rather than an op-ed for protest?

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News

Noel in Dallas April 5-6, 2025

The Hands Off Rally was the first of three Dallas events in which Noel participated in three weeks ago. Here’s a video clip from Dealey Plaza.

On that Saturday evening, he performed at Poor David’s and the next day led a family sing-along for a nonprofit organization in Dallas called KidLinks. Since the mid-80s Noel has volunteered his time and talents with the organization, founded by Jim Newton, who, along with Paul Hill, began by composing and performing music to meet the needs of hospitalized children. Over the years it has broadened its reach and its staff—its mission statement today expresses its commitment “to linking kids to healing, hope and happiness through music and media.”