The Why of When

Do you ever wonder why…you are here and so am I? So am I.

For those who know the titles of the songs on my recently released FAZZ album, it may come as a surprise that there was a lyric (well, really only just the first line of a lyric) for what ended up as an instrumental piece called “Wonderwhy,” recorded live during one of Peter, Paul and Mary’s performances in Japan. I had arranged to have a koto (a 13-string plucked instrument seen in the picture above) placed on stage for me to play, with Paul Prestopino on mandolin and Richard Kniss on acoustic bass. The resultant improvisation parallels some of the discussions that Jeanne and I were having at the outset of this project about faith, coincidence and trusting in the spirit of creativity.  

In a recent search for “faith and coincidence” on Google, I was disappointed to see the headline “If God Is the Cause, There Are No Coincidences” in Psychology Today.  Both Jeanne and I see the possibility of a more congruent relationship, touched upon by Andy Otto (creator and editor of God In All Things and the author of God Moments: Unexpected Encounters in the Ordinary), who suggests coincidences occur not “. . . by [God’s] creating magic or preferencing one incident over another, but by laying out invitations and asking for our involvement.“

Over the years of our work on this autobiography, we have saved much of the actual Q&A that peppered our early conversations and refer to them as “Dialogues.”  Our thought was that some of the topics described in the chapters of our book might be interesting to investigate more closely—revealing details that were peripherally curious— but not necessarily essential to the main writing. “Coincidence” certainly seems like a topic for which our earlier conversations might be relevant. One of our dialogues is presented here with the hunch that when an established publisher or editor reviews our finished submission, this “show your work” process may not make it into a final version.

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(JTF = Jeanne Torrence Finley / NPS = Noel Paul Stookey)

JTF  One of the chapters in this autobiography ends with an intriguing phrase—“the why of when.” You’re referring to the question of how one event led to your career path. Hearing a classical guitarist make a mistake in a formal concert, but carrying on as if nothing had happened gave you a confidence that just about any error musically could be overcome and seems to have paved the way for your professional life. 

Of course, the incident that surpasses all others in significance was your chance re-meeting with Betty outside a New York City subway station four years after the two of you had attended a Michigan high school. Were there other instances in your life that stirred curiosity about connection and coincidence?

NPS Well, certainly meeting and becoming friends with Jim Mosby in Michigan led to a multitude of creative opportunities. I wonder how my junior high school experience and path in life would have been different had we not been together in the radio workshop, made up our own radio shows, done homeroom announcements and made movies together. Jim eventually became road manager for Peter, Paul, and Mary. I mean, was meeting him a coincidence? How were the creative things we did together connected? 

JTF In our book, you mention wondering why particular events happen at particular times. Though I’m skeptical about making too much of coincidence, it's been a recurring subject throughout our conversations. You've often wondered why particular events happen when they do—“the why of when."  I share your fascination with where the subject might be leading. 

NPS I think the human condition is such that we’re always trying to effect resolution. If something happens that is inexplicable, we nonetheless try to draw connections between actions and results. We make all these associations. Perhaps the adage that a coincidence is a circumstance created by an Author who wishes to remain anonymous could also be interpreted as “Love is constantly creating coincidences just because of the manner in which it wants to join us in community.” 

JTF  I’d put that a slightly different way, based on some reading I’ve been doing in open and relational theology, also known as process theology. Love—the Divine— lures, inspires, suggests ideas, and calls us toward human flourishing for our own good and for the common good. That’s how Love’s nudges help us to create the possibilities that lead to coincidences. We have the possibility of choosing to pay attention to those hints or to ignore them. But I wonder if making these kinds of connections require a kind of openness and curiosity that’s beyond some people’s capacity or willingness to exercise?

NPS I would hope not. I’d hope that ultimately people would make connections instead of dismissing things that are heartfelt as spurious. To me, it is the stringing together of these connections that leads one to develop a personal brand of faith. Faith seems to me a little like what a cartoon character goes through when he runs off the edge of a cliff. On the screen, they’re still up in the air. They never seem to fall unless they look down. In other words, based on that first ten feet, you can go another ten. And, based on that twenty, you can go forty. You keep extending your faith as it is proven to you that it is trustworthy. 

JTF There are risks that lead to faith and risks that lead to creativity. I can see how this willingness to risk relates to your love of jazz and improvisation, but is it also a contributor to you becoming a comedian?   

NPS [laughs] Somewhere early on I discovered that what came out of my mouth was not always what I intended but quite often made people laugh. When you discover that others can identify with the truth of your failures or shortcomings, you’ve given them permission to laugh at their own mistakes. Seems to me you then become a humorist.

JTF    So there is a connection between being funny and stepping off a cliff in faith. 

NPS:  [blush] One of the curious things about doing comedy material is that you're totally at the mercy of the moment and that DOES require a kind of faith. Between the delivery of an idea and the delivery of the next idea, your mind is racing through possible selections. It might end up being a non sequitur. It might end up being directly related, and if it is, it may be something so deep and subliminal that you have no idea how that connection came about.

JTF We’ve talked about John Cleese’s autobiography, “So, Anyway,” and saw in it a classic example of a troubled child growing up to be a comedian of dark humor. You certainly didn’t fit that mold.

NPS Right. I carried no such burden. I was so supported by both of my parents. Quite possibly there were things going on behind the scenes that I didn't know, but most of my angst, particularly not knowing how people would react to what I said—and then claiming credit for it as a humorist—came from being an only child. I didn't have the perspective of sibling feedback: a brother or sister saying, “You can't do that or I'm going to tell Mom on you.” 

JTF You’ve said you use self-deprecating humor so that audiences can learn to laugh at themselves.

NPS Being a humorist is a little like being drunk. No one is really sure they can take you seriously. But behind what might be an off-the-wall comment, there is often a level of personal honesty revealed. I might make a glib comment for humor's sake, but inside I’m still processing whatever kind of information it contains. So, at times I may appear guarded, but my slowness is not reticence. It's just taking me that long to figure out how I really feel about something. 

JTF It sounds like you’re balanced between introversion and extroversion—between being energized by social interaction and by solitude—an ideal place to be.

NPS That sounds like a compliment. Thank you...wanna write a book together? <grin>

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Connections:

Visit Andy Otto’s website, and for a different perspective read this Psychology Today article. 

Vibrations:

Listen to Noel’s “Wonderwhy” (live performance), recorded in Japan featuring Noel’s playing of the Koto with Paul Prestopino on mandolin and Richard Kniss on acoustic bass.

Resonance:

How often has coincidence occurred in your life?  How many of those times have you chosen to follow its suggestion?  Where did it lead?